unphrased:

I wish I could just press the restart button on some people.

(Source: standarded, via thefuuuucomics)

keepmywhiskeyneat:

Me: *reluctantly gets off couch*

Me: “I’m too pretty for this”

misanclrist:

hmu if u wanna date a piece of shit

(Source: dumbgay, via thefuuuucomics)

twerking4tacos:

 i have two moods hungry and ugly

(Source: trapg0ds, via alexernst)

dulect:

could you please fill out this quick survey for me?

image

(via molly-cyrus)

cozyharold:

when your friend calls you a “gold digging cock slut”

image

(Source: bloujobs, via tyleroakley)

NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY